If a saboteur wanted to quietly cripple a software team, they wouldn’t need to break the build. They’d just need to weaponize metrics.

In this lunch and learn, we’ll take the saboteur’s point of view and ask: what numbers would they highlight, how would they frame them, and what would they hide to make everything look healthy while steering the team off course? It’s a little Screwtape Letters for software metrics: by thinking like the thing we don’t want in the room, we can spot the traps more clearly in our own organizations.

This is not a guide to sabotage. It’s a way to expose how easy it is to mislead ourselves with metrics that look objective, reassuring, and impressive. If you’ve ever wondered whether a dashboard is telling the truth or just telling a good story, this session is for you.